Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Chuck Norris!!!

There seems to be a Chuck Norris fasination on the web. Here are a group of Norrisisms that I found:

1: Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
2: The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain
3: Chuck Norris counted in infinity. Twice.
4: Chuck Norris can devide by zero.
5: Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
6: Chuck Norris can speak brail.
7: Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
8: There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
9: Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
10:Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
11:Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
12: When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
13: If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
14: Chuck Noris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
15: The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
16: Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.
17: Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
18: They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.
19: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.
20: Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
21: In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris.
22: If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
23: Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.
24: Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a midget and it burst into 25 gold coins.
25: Jesus owns and wears a bracelet that reads, "WWCND?"